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  • Writer's pictureEva DiGiammarino

The Most Important Part of a Parenting Plan? Consistency.

One of the essential elements of a successful parenting plan is consistency in the parenting schedule. In this blog, we'll delve into the significance of consistency and provide you with practical examples of how to

two children looking out at a window
The Most Crucial Part of a Parenting Plan? Consistency

incorporate consistent terms into your parenting plan.

Why Consistency Matters:

Children thrive on stability and routine. Amidst the changes that come with divorce, maintaining a consistent parenting schedule can provide them with a sense of security and predictability. Here are a few reasons why consistency is crucial:

  1. Emotional Well-being: Regular and predictable contact with both parents helps children feel emotionally secure and connected. It reduces anxiety and uncertainty that may arise from irregular schedules.

  2. Healthy Development: Consistency in routines, such as meal times, bedtimes, and activities, supports a child's healthy development by promoting a structured environment.

  3. Effective Co-Parenting: A consistent parenting schedule fosters effective communication and cooperation between parents, leading to reduced conflicts and a healthier co-parenting relationship.

Incorporating Consistency into Your Parenting Plan:

When creating your parenting plan, keep in mind these examples of how you can include terms that promote consistency:

  1. Regular Visitation Schedule: Define a clear visitation schedule that outlines when the children will be with each parent. This should include weekdays, weekends, holidays, and special occasions. If your children are young, having a visual calendar for them to look at and know when they are with each parent can help them acclimatize to your parenting arrangement.

  2. Pick-up and Drop-off Procedures: Specify the exact times and locations for pick-ups and drop-offs to avoid confusion or conflicts. Keep the timing and locations as consistent as possible. If the children have a hard time with transitions, you may want to make the location at a spot you know they enjoy, such as a local park.

  3. Communication Guidelines: Establish guidelines for regular communication between parents and children during the times they are not together. We always recommend that your child communicate with the parent they are not with via face-time or telephone, once a day.

  4. Consistent Rules and Routines: Collaborate on maintaining consistent rules, routines, and expectations in both households. This includes bedtime routines, meal schedules, and homework routines. You can include the details of your expectations in your parenting plan. For example - both parties can agree that their children will get a certain amount of money per month as an allowance or that a curfew will be set for weekends at 11PM.

  5. Flexibility with Advance Notice: While consistency is crucial, life can be unpredictable. Consider your "plan B" options ahead of time so that both you and your co-parent know what to do when things don't go according to plan. For example, if both parents can't pick up a child from school, they can agree on a third party (such as a paternal grandmother or maternal aunt) who will be contacted first to assist.

  6. Shared Special Occasions: Outline how you will handle shared special occasions, such as birthdays, school events, and holidays. Share these plans with the child ahead of time so they know what to expect.

Consistency in a parenting schedule is a cornerstone of successful co-parenting after divorce. By focusing on maintaining stability and predictability for your children, you can help them navigate this challenging time with greater ease. Collaborating with your ex-spouse to create a comprehensive parenting plan that incorporates the principles of consistency can set the foundation for a positive and nurturing co-parenting relationship.

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